The church and mental illness

Cape Coast Castle is located on the Gold Coast of West Africa in Ghana. Today it is a busy tourist attraction. Over 250 years ago it was the hub of the slave trade out of Africa. Slaves were held in dungeons before entering the “Gate of No Return” which took them to ships sailing across…

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The danger of expectations

Dealing with high expectations I hear and read about people who talk about the role of expectations… a lot. Marriage counselors talk about how spouses should be clear in their expectations.  Business leaders tell us to communicate our expectations   clearly.  Relationship experts even tell us that we should be clear about  our sexual expectations –…

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Are you becoming emotionally numb?

When emotions turn off I wonder how many of the behaviors that we struggle with in our personal lives have roots in emotional numbing?  Eating too much?  Not eating enough? Drinking every night?  Keeping our home perfectly ordered?  Creating a schedule that allows no time for rest?  I’m sure there are others… Some of these behaviors…

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How to defuse your own high expectations

How do I handle other’s high expectations on me? (This is part 2 of a series on the dangers of expectations in our lives. You can view part 1 here.)   The way expectations can be even worse on a relationship is the way that they greatly limit the giving of free gifts.  It is…

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The temptation of pornography

(This is part 2 of a series on fighting against the struggle with pornography. Here is part 1 of this series) Pornography and the temptation of the quick fix Imagine for a second that the temptation of pornography is like a man buying a watch. A man decides that one of their goals in life…

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Diffusing the desire for pornography

Overcoming the struggle against porn One of the most common mistakes I see couples make is when they start to use something like pornography, or even an affair, to stimulate their sexual desire for their spouse.   I have seen, heard or read self-help and fiction Books, movies, pundits and alleged experts all tout this idea….

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Dealing with difficult people

How to not be traumatized by the difficult people in your life It is amazing what we as humans can deal with when we see things in different perspectives. Imagine that you chose to work at a camp for helping Down’s Syndrome kids. Imagine that at some point, a big teenage DS boy walks up to you…

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What forgiveness looks like

Forgiveness part 2 Another great teaching about forgiveness from our Rabbi is found in Matthew 18:21-35. When Peter asks about how often he should forgive someone who sins against him, Jesus tells him the parable of a man who owes, you guessed it, a very large debt. The master “forgave him the debt” (vs. 27),…

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Why forgiving others matters

Part 1 on forgiveness “…And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” (Heb 9:22, NASU)   How could it be that of all religions in the world, we have decided to communicate that forgiveness is easy and/or cheap, or even…

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Family internet: protecting your kids without pushing them away

The online risks for your kids Willie Robertson, CEO of Duck Commander and star of the hit show, “Duck Dynasty”, once said about parenting, “Parenting is a constant struggle between making your kids’ life better and ruining your own.” Who can’t relate to this statement in some way? One advantage is when we have examples…

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