How often should a married couple have sex?

How often should a married couple have sex? 16 Ok, just kidding. I know that most people are looking for a number, and even though you knew that I wasn’t going to offer one so easily, I know you are hoping for an easy answer even though you know one doesn’t exist. Answers? Yes. Easy…

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Anxiety and the brain

How our mind reacts to anxiety (This is part 2 of a series on how our minds work when we experience anxiety. You can view part 1 here)   Some people feel medium and even high levels of anxiety all the time… Which means they are ALWAYS in the state of looking for a threat…

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Coping with anxiety and other emotions

I have a new way of understanding emotions that has been working itself out in my head for a while… Emotions are a way for our body to communicate with itself, specifically about the allocation of energy, I now think. This would make sense from a design perspective – the usage of energy is vital…

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Saying no in a “yes” world

Saying no Over the last few years,  one of my great passions  has been the topic of rest. Someday, I will write an article made up of my notes from a year of research on rest… As I have spoken recently on various topics, it keeps coming up!  It doesn’t seem to matter what the…

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The danger of expectations

Dealing with high expectations I hear and read about people who talk about the role of expectations… a lot. Marriage counselors talk about how spouses should be clear in their expectations.  Business leaders tell us to communicate our expectations   clearly.  Relationship experts even tell us that we should be clear about  our sexual expectations –…

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How to defuse your own high expectations

How do I handle other’s high expectations on me? (This is part 2 of a series on the dangers of expectations in our lives. You can view part 1 here.)   The way expectations can be even worse on a relationship is the way that they greatly limit the giving of free gifts.  It is…

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The temptation of pornography

(This is part 2 of a series on fighting against the struggle with pornography. Here is part 1 of this series) Pornography and the temptation of the quick fix Imagine for a second that the temptation of pornography is like a man buying a watch. A man decides that one of their goals in life…

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Diffusing the desire for pornography

Overcoming the struggle against porn One of the most common mistakes I see couples make is when they start to use something like pornography, or even an affair, to stimulate their sexual desire for their spouse.   I have seen, heard or read self-help and fiction Books, movies, pundits and alleged experts all tout this idea….

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Dealing with difficult people

How to not be traumatized by the difficult people in your life It is amazing what we as humans can deal with when we see things in different perspectives. Imagine that you chose to work at a camp for helping Down’s Syndrome kids. Imagine that at some point, a big teenage DS boy walks up to you…

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What forgiveness looks like

Forgiveness part 2 Another great teaching about forgiveness from our Rabbi is found in Matthew 18:21-35. When Peter asks about how often he should forgive someone who sins against him, Jesus tells him the parable of a man who owes, you guessed it, a very large debt. The master “forgave him the debt” (vs. 27),…

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